HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
So last year I went through a lot of ups and downs. Like a lot. I tied up some ends and some ends came apart. I opened some doors and some closed on me. I gained some people and lost some. Got a job, lost it and by some grace, I got another. Anywho, my point is that experiences were gained in 2013, whether I wanted to gain them or not.
2014. This year is all about The Journey of Vee. Finding myself again. I'm on a journey of self-discovery because believe it or not, I really don't know who I am anymore. I lost myself to a toxic relationship and lifestyle. I no longer have the same outlook on life as I did before. I'm somewhat tainted. Dark. I can tell you now that I'm very, very unhappy but I can also tell you that I don't plan on being unhappy for long. Boom Shaka's "Free" is my new #DamnJam.
Weird as it feels to say this, I'm actually happy that I'm sad. I see you giving me that look, lemme explain what I mean. Had it not been for the terrible year I had, I wouldn't have known that I'm all lost and shit. I wouldn't have discovered that there were serious issues that I had to address and I wouldn't have known that I was drowning in my own insecurities and putting myself in situations that were doing nothing but killing me slowly. I like calling 2013 "The Year of the Bloody Screaming Revelations". SO MUCH WAS REVEALED! I was tested and, I hate to admit it, I failed. But failure isn't the end, right? Right. That is why I am embarking on this journey of discovery and recovery. Healing my terrible wounds, learing to love myself again, remembering what being happy feels like and most importantly doing things for ME and putting myself first.
NO MORE DRAKING!! I have entered The Draking Recovery and Rehabilitation Programme. I cannot stand my complaining anymore. The Mr has moved on without me. He's busy being happy, living his life with his biscuit while I do nothing but mope over him. Yesses, I'm done crying over him shem. I will not lie and say I am not hurt by what happened, I am. I am still quite hurt. I still love him but I love myself more. He treated me badly and I stayed. He ridiculed me and still I stayed. He made me hate myself and question my beauty, my body, my worth, my love and I STILL stayed. Whoo hai, NO MORE SHEM! I've been waiting to exhale. This is my moment. I'm on my Stella now, my groove is somewhere out there waiting for me. My family and friends have been waiting for me to leave him. They're probably gonna throw a concert or some shit. Haha. Their support has helped me through this. I want to thank them for being there. They saw the cracks, they saw me break, they saw me die and watched me come back to life. Thick and thin. I love them with my heart and soul. I am truly blessed.
2014 is MY YEAR OF GREATNESS! I am going to be the best Vee I can be. I am gonna have so much fun. I plan on doing so much. You just watch this space. I don't have a masterplan or blueprint but I have an idea and a brick. I'll keep building as I go and grow.
I hope this year brings you all a lot of things but most of all, I hope it's a year filled with love. The Beatles weren't bullshitting us when they sang "All you need is love". Be blessed.
Remember 2014. 20-4-ME. The Year of Greatness.
