Dear Love

Dear Love

Put your guard down, I come in peace.

I owe you an apology. A BIG one. An ENORMOUS one. I could go on but I wouldn't want you to get a big head.

Sometimes romance can be misinterpreted and misinterpretations often lead to good people doing bad things. Crazy things. Evil things. One finds themselves doing and saying all sorts of shit in your name -which is unfair, I know- and you have no control over that. I was one such person. I got caught up in what I thought was you, I couldn't see the grave I was digging myself. I was deep within that drama. Situations had me thinking you turned your back on me and so I, in anger, turned mine on you. I was so foolish bit you already know what you do to fools...

I am sorry Love. I'm so sorry I let someone, who used your name in vain, turn me into a you-hating monster. You're no devil. I mean, you're not perfect but you try...ok, I take that back. You are perfect. We're the ones that fuck shit up- for you and ourselves. I'm sorry I stopped believing in you, especially after everything you and I have been through.

"You've been my inspiration. Through the lies you were the truth. My world is a better place because of you". Celine wrote those lyrics for her man but I feel like they're the perfect tribute to you. The truth is that so many things in this world were inspired by you. All the songs, symbols and colours we have only for you. The Taj Mahal for goodness' sake! Inspired by you. You truly make the world go round- and I'm not just saying that, I mean it. You're so amazing

Ok, so here's the thing. As much as this is an apology, it's also a request. How about you take it easy on me for a bit? You know, focus on other people. I'm not kicking you out of my life or asking for desertion, I'm just saying we should take a break. I need to chill hey. This thing of constantly walking in and out of relationships has me all kinds of tired. Even my feet are sore. I just want it to be me for a while, you know, Jazz Solo. Remember how bad it was last time? I'm not ready for that again. I don't want to take the Red Pill. Not this time. I'm not ready for The Matrix. I just want that Blue Pill life. Some Vee-time. I promise I won't let the loneliness lead me astray. I promise I won't end up doing things (or people) I'll regret. And hey, maybe this break from the romantic side of you will be good for us. We can concentrate on other things, like the you I have for my family, friends, me, life, etc. NO ROMANCE!

We're cool now. You and I. No hard feelings. You go on and take care of your other kids, I've got me from here. If (and when) I need you, I'll call.

XOXO
Vee JazzyVixen Makaba